EXOTIC PERRY TEAS INSPIRE STROLLERS RECORD BREAKING RUN
Fourteen matches down and thirteen matches won with one winning draw. Difficult to believe, I know, but the Strollers of summer '95 are smashing every record in the book, and John "Statto" Reidy is having to pull out all the stops just to keep up. In fact, winning has become such a predictable habit that seasoned hack Ethel Dunn, grasper of the Strollers' pen in last month's Leisure, has quit ! She got so bored of week-in, week-out victories that she's decided to take early retirement on the DH VER/VES scheme!
The glorious summer continued with the now traditional thrashing of Sunderland Supporter's Club at Sutton. Strollers batted first (as we always seem to do nowadays, thanks to Phil "Lucky" Connell's amazing run on the coin tossing front), ending up with a sound 179 for 6 (Charles Sampson 81 not out, Tim Elliott 29 not out, Paul Lees 21). The feisty north easterners were dutifully dispatched for 71 all out (Kelvin Glensman 4 for 4), and the race was on to be the first team in the pub.
A Wednesday afternoon at Eltham provided Strollers with an opportunity to soundly thrash Grovian, the OPCS friendly side. Strollers batted first (yawn) and achieved a staggering 218 for 9 (John Newton 66 not out, Nick Clark 50, Nick Matthews 23, Phil Connell 23). Grovian could only muster 158 for 8 following a traditional Strollers good all round bowling performance.
The Hammersmith Blades, a rather odd bunch all sporting names like Hugo, Toby and Farquar, were soundly beaten at Raynes Park in similar fashion. Needless to say, Strollers batted first and scored 213 for 6 (John McGirr 50, Phil Connell 37, Charles Sampson 32), before the Blades were seen off for a quite paltry 103 for 8 (Paul Lupton 3 for 22, John Newton 3 for 25).
Now there is only one thing more boring than the Strollers batting first/winning every match cycle, and that is John Lewis CC. Raynes Park again provided the setting as Strollers notched up 201 for 5 (Nick Clark 81 not out, Charles Sampson 37). In reply, the tired, backward defensive, never say win John Lewis sneaked, nicked, edged and tweaked the ball to a tedious 118 for 8. Be off with you, boring John Lewis !
CYPOS, the team that plays on our Raynes Park pitch on the Sundays that the Strollers are off strolling (for technical buffs, CYPOS stands for "Can You Play On Sunday"; apparently they once played on a Tuesday and called themselves CYPOT; embarrassing, I know), were next to face the mighty force that is Strollers '95. Surprise, surprise, Strollers batted first and produced an impressive 194 for 6 (John Newton 44, Nick Clark 32 not out, Charles Sampson 31). CYPOS, normally a rather nifty side, could not cope with the onslaught, but at least made an effort before being bowled out for 134 (Paul Lees 4 for 30).
The major development mid-summer, however, has been the revitalisation of the Perry Tea. Fresh from retirement, and with a four match home run to work with, Derek has pulled out the stops to make his cricket teas more...er...exotic (?). With his lady friend on vacation, Derek has had to make the sandwiches himself (shock, horror!) The most noticeable fact was that the sandwiches were cut into rather lank looking, thumb imprinted rectangles, as opposed to the usual bold triangles. However, the Lloyd Grossman taste factor proved satisfactory, and Derek was let off. Then there were the Frankfurters. After amassing another total of over two hundred (yawn), hungry Strollers galloped to the Pavilion to be faced with paper plates piled high with long, pale, somewhat anaemic looking cocktail sausages amongst the usual plethora of crisps and sandwiches. After a few tentative prods and bemused shakes of the head, the sausages were polished off more quickly than Nick Matthews can chase a ball to the third man boundary. After such an unexpected triumph, there was no stopping Derek. The next week there was fresh salad awaiting us in the Pavilion, along with Sainsbury's own mini Scotch eggs. Next week he's promised us taramasalata! It has to be said that the average Stroller likes cake. One can normally spot this as the aforementioned "gallop" to the Pavilion reaches 7.2 on the Richter Scale in the Raynes Park area. However, "exotic" Derek, as he is now known, is prone to keeping the average Stroller guessing. The week before last, a fine box of chocolate flake cakes appeared on the tea table and vanished almost instantly, but the best was yet to come. Scenes of a children's party when the birthday boy's mum brings out the jelly and custard had nothing on the mad scramble the week before as Strollers fought tooth and nail to get their hands on one of only six of Derek's latest acquisitions - the Sonic The Hedgehog White Chocolate Mini Rolls! So, I hear you ask, has Derek finally pulled it off ? Is he now the Galloping Gourmet of the cricket tea in South West London ? Well, the simple answer to that question is a resounding "NO!" Why ? Because Derek blew it. The last Perry tea taken had a sinister, nay horrific twist in the crisps department. Derek had not gone to Sainsbury's for his multi-pack of Walker's. Nor, even, had he gone to Iceland. No, he had gone to...The Co-op! Argghhh! Oh well, Derek, back to the drawing board...
Tim Elliott