STROLLERS OFFICIAL REPORT: COMMA RUNS RIOT
This is a new day. It is a beautiful day. The thin sun shivered over the horizon as the Comma, lying amidst the detritus of a wild night of wild sexual fervour, languidly nuzzled the yielding milky-white thigh of the Janet Ellis lookalike who was lucky enough to have spent a tempestuous night between the sheets with him. And what a night it had been! The Comma had been celebrating a sporting feat unrivalled since the mighty Welsh Dragon had humbled the arrogant yeomen of England in their own capital city a few months previously. Greater even than the exploits of his northern brethren on some Catalonian field when the red, white and black butterfly emerged blinking as a thing of wonder. Gentle reader: "Pray, what was the source of Mr Comma's serendipity?
On Hampstead Heath the baby leaves were still delicate shades of limpid lime and the songbirds had yet to be stilled by the oppressive heat of high summer. On to this serene stage, like Arthurian Knights, braced to face the full and awesome might of the Duke of Hamilton, strode the Strollers. Bejewelled and bemused.
Things weren't going to plan, so the ball was tossed to the Comma to see if he could make the breakthrough that the Strollers oh-so-desperately needed. Eeeh Comma, appen you ave t'go wi't' ball!!!
Weeekit!!!, said Mick in his hilarious Geoff Boycott accent that always had the team splitting their sides and literally crying with laughter.
CRASH! Clean bowled.
BANG! Clean bowled.
WALLOP! Clean bowled.
THWACK! Caught behind.
TIMBER! Clean bowled.
ACHTUNG BABY! Clean bowled. A double treble.
The Comma had rewritten the Strollers' history books with a never-to-be rivalled SIX wickets for TEN runs from a mere SIX overs. Meanwhile, at the other end, the support bowlers were toiling for little reward. No matter, the game was won. Yippee!! Before I go I would like to make two important announcements: Lee "Full-Board" Harbord has been missing for a number of weeks. Last seen leaving the Valley after Charlton's last game of the season with a strange look on his face. Mr Full Board owes a number of people a great deal of money. If you see him contact the Comma via Leisure.
In future stories: Inzamam-ul-McGirr sets a new 100 metres record racing for his Lambert and Butlers during a drinks break.
The Comma