PHIL CONNELL - THE TRUTH
Recent visitors to the website may have seen a rash of comments along similar lines: 'Phil was great', 'outstanding captain' 'scored an impressive 23 in 1936' 'I love Phil' etc etc.
Well, it's time to get real.
When one casts one's mind over the shimmering azure and gold summer days of our youth there are certain stories that remain in the memory and cannot be erased. No matter how hard one tries. I well remember the very first words Phil ever said to me: "ave a blow". This phrase, later to be immortalised by Geoff Knights when asking Gillian Taylforth for some medicine for his pancreatitis, was cockney for; 'You're bowling like a nonce. Go and stand over there.'
One also remembers with fondness Phil's habit of spraying his scent around the Chiswick pavillion, like a dog staking out its territory. Phil would invariably be the last to leave the bar after his customary three pints of lager ('that's enough for me lads') and maybe a lah-de-dah Gunner Graham vodka and orange. Inevitably, Phil would have to relieve himself against the Pavillion wall during the short stagger from the bar to Reidy's car.
Perhaps Phil's darkest moment came when he was implicated in the theft of four World Cup 98 commemorative pint glasses from the bar at Chiswick. CCTV picked up a shadowy lanky figure with a distinctive leather patchwork bag designed by leading coutiers Sutcliffe's of Berkshire, snaffling the glasses but nothing was ever proved.
Another memorable highlight from Phil's career was his appearance on BBC Television's 'Record Breakers!' in April 1976. Phil was invited to discuss with Roy Castle and Norris McWhirrter his remarkable collection of losing betting slips which, at the time, numbered an incredible 4,254,342.
The slips encompass a range of events and dated from the day his losing sequence started ('Devon Loch £10 on the nose in the '56 National') to the latest ('Charlton to beat Man Utd').
Phil later tried - but sadly failed - to achieve a second entry in the Guinness Book of records with an attempt on the 'going to the toilet the most times during a cricket match'.
As Phil got older, his line and length started to diminish as his eyesight went. Previous impeccable self -control started to lapse. Frustrated by his impotence, he resorted to underhand tactics to dislodge the opposition. Egged on by Nick 'The Basher' Clark, Phil's last season saw some ferocious bowling in the inimitable 'Manier' style with the inevitable bloody results for the unfortunate batsmen.
Phillip Connell
1982-2001
Leaves a statistician and 11 children.
'At the going down of a wicket we will remember him'
The Comma