The Dell vs The Don

Compare if you will the batting of Sir Donald (The Don) Bradman and Derek (The Dell) Perry. Though the they share the same birthday and height, their cricketing fortunes couldn't be further apart.

Throughout the 1930s and ’40s Bradman was the world’s master cricketer, so far ahead of everyone else that comparisons became pointless. In 1930, he scored 974 runs in the series, 309 of them in one amazing day at Headingley, and in seven Test series against England he remained a figure of utter dominance; Australia lost the Ashes only once, in 1932-33, when England were so spooked by Bradman that they devised a system of bowling, Bodyline, that history has damned as brutal and unfair, simply to thwart him. He still averaged 56 in the series. In all, he went to the crease 80 times in Tests, and scored 29 centuries. He needed just four in his last Test innings, at The Oval in 1948, to ensure an average of 100­- but was out second ball for 0, a rare moment of human failing that only added to his everlasting appeal. Bradman made all those runs at high speed in a manner that bewildered opponents and entranced spectators. Though his batting was not classically beautiful, it was always awesome. As Neville Cardus put it, he was a devastating rarity: “A genius with an eye for business.”

Throughout the 1980s Perry was the was the world's worst cricketer, way behind anything even the Strollers could muster. In 1991 he scored 3 runs in 3 innings, with a highest score of 2 in one amazing day at Raynes Park. In ten seasons for The Strollers he remained a figure of utter weakness. The opposition devised a scheme of bowling "Stump-line" at him in 1992. Despite the protestations of the then Captain Phil Connell, there was nothing the umpires could do. If the bowler bowled straight, they had him. But yet in 1992, he still scored 1 run in 5 innings - so it was a hollow victory for the opposition. They couldn't keep this man quiet. He needed just twenty-two in his last Strollers innings, at Raynes Park in 1999, to ensure an average of 1.00 - but was out first ball for 0, a predictable moment of human failing that only added to his everlasting disgrace. Perry made all those ducks at high speed in a manner that bewildered team-mates and entranced spectators. Though his batting was not classically hideous, it was always poor. As an anonymous player put it, he was a devastating rarity: “A cricketer with absolutely no eye for the ball.” The Dell became the team's tea provider shortly after his cricket career ended.